And some people will tell you that Jose Mourinho’s Manchester United are dull to watch. They hit four goals for the eighth time this season, all of them superb, the pièce de résistance an 80-yard Bestian burst by Jesse Lingard. They could have come a cropper when threatened by a late Watford revival, but stood firm where others have crumbled, and move to within five points of leaders Manchester City, for 24 hours at least. Watford remain in eighth, having played better than the scoreline suggests, contributing to an excellent evening’s entertainment. Nighty night, everyone!

90 min +2: Carrillo burns down the right and stands one up in the mixer. Lindelof is forced to head out for a corner, under intense pressure from Deeney. The set piece leads to nothing. On the touchline, Mourinho races from the dugout to give Rashford a bollocking for some unknown reason. You’ve got to hand it to him: a relentless pursuit of perfection.

90 min: There will be four added minutes. Time for a couple more, the way these teams have been carrying on.

89 min: Watford, to their immense credit, refuse to give up. Richarlison breaks down the left and dribbles along the byline, firing with purpose into the six-yard box. De Gea turns the ball around the post with a strong wrist. The corner comes to nothing.

88 min: Lingard ambles off the pitch with a wide smile, his work here done. He’s replaced by Ibrahimovic.

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How about this for a reply?! Doucoure races down the left. His low cross is hacked clear by Herrera. Lingard picks up the loose ball, 20 yards inside his own half. He bursts down the middle, drifts to the left, then to the right, beating a gaggle of defenders, before firing low into the bottom corner from the edge of the D! That’s a stunning solo goal! George Best would have been proud.

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Carrillo dribbles down the right and reaches the edge of the box. He fires low into the area. Doucoure hits a first-time prod towards the bottom left. It’s accurate and with pace ... and in! Vicarage Road erupts. It couldn’t be on, could it? Richarlison’s near miss just before the half-time whistle suddenly becomes a thing.

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82 min: Mariappa hooks one into the mixer from the left. Young chests it down and aims a blooter upfield, only to watch in horror as the ball rebounds off Deeney and towards goal. Fortunately for United, it eventually loops well wide right of the target. But for a split second, United hearts were in mouths.

81 min: Watford are enjoying plenty of the ball as United sit back, concentrating on their defensive shape. Richarlison makes off down the left, and looks for Deeney in the box. But his cross is hysterical and flies wildly into the stand behind the goal.

80 min: United are sitting back, taking no chances. Six men across the front of the area. Femenia curls a cross in from the right. Deeney rises and wins the header, but he’s under pressure and pushed back to the edge of the box. He looks for the top right but that’s an easy claim for de Gea.

Deeney sends de Gea the wrong way, slotting the penalty calmly into the bottom left. Game on? Well, against a Mourinho side, probably not. But it’s got the crowd going!

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77 min: Pereyra dances into the United box from the right. His jinking feet confuse Rojo, who clips him over, a lunge from behind. A no-brainer for the referee.

76 min: And now Lukaku bursts down the left, only to drag a shot across goal and out on the right.

75 min: Lukaku should make it four for United. He’s got the ball at his feet, alone on the penalty spot, the result of Rashford stripping Mariappa down the left and teeing it up. But he hesitates. Gomes comes out to close him down. Doucoure snaps at his ankles. Mariappa eventually blocks. What a chance spurned! That’s a hell of a miss. Funny thing, confidence.

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74 min: A free kick for United out on the right. It’s sent onto the head of Pogba, who rises above Doucoure and should score from close range. But he sends a weak effort sailing harmlessly over the bar.

72 min: Deeney comes on for a fading Gray. Doucoure bursts down the inside-left channel. United, rather uncharacteristically, open up. Doucoure zips through the gap and into the box, but then scuffs his shooting opportunity. The ball nearly breaks to Deeney on the penalty spot. No. That would have been some introduction.

70 min: Mariappa strips the ball from Lukaku 30 yards from goal, takes a stride, and lashes a wild shot wide right of the goal. A sign of understandable frustration. Thing is, Watford haven’t played that badly tonight. They’ve just been steamrollered by United in one of their super-efficient moods.

68 min: Carrillo suddenly finds himself in a lot of space to the left of the United area, reward for a smart on-a-sixpence turn. He reaches the byline and fires into the six-yard box, which contains three yellow-shirted pals. There’s some pinball. But the ball doesn’t break to a Watford player, and Rojo is able to slam clear. On another day, etc.

66 min: Zeegelaar clatters into Lingard, who was in the process of executing a cheeky nutmeg. A free kick instead. It’s taken quickly by Pogba, and Lingard is found in space to the right of goal. His low shot is deflected out for a corner. Pogba tries to get a header on target from the set piece, but can’t manage it.

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65 min: Rashford comes on to replace Martial.

64 min: Femenia has been bright for Watford, too. He skates down the right and whips deep for Richarlison, who rises and heads over from close range at the far post.

63 min: A deft Pogba flick sends Lingard scampering down the right. Lingard very nearly finds Lukaku on the penalty spot, but Mariappa is on hand to sweep up.

61 min: Carrillo looks to curl one into the top right from 25 yards. It doesn’t bother de Gea in the slightest, the United goalkeeper opting not to move, other than to roll his eyes as the ball sails over the bar. Ambitious. But then Watford need something special if they’re going to complete their seemingly impossible task.

60 min: Not much going on right now, the play having been broken up by all those changes.

58 min: Hughes is replaced by Pereyra, and it’s a double change, Carrillo coming on for Prodl.

57 min: Hughes goes scampering off down the right, in the hope of keeping a long ball in play. Then he pulls up, clutching the back of his leg. Oh dear. He trudges off, swearing under his breath. A shame, he’s been magnificent of late, and indeed tonight, despite the scoreline.

55 min: Matic, limping lightly and grimacing slightly, is replaced by the more sprightly Ander Herrera. Nobody in United garb looks particularly energised to welcome Matic to the bench, which suggests there’s no great panic about his condition, and no need for immediate medical attention. A precautionary measure, on the face of it.

53 min: And United move upfield at speed again. They’ve been devastating on the break tonight. Martial zooms towards the Watford box and slips the ball to Lukaku, just inside the area on his right. Lukaku is offside, and drags a lame shot across the face of goal anyway. His lack of confidence betrays him.

52 min: Hughes has been Watford’s one ray of light tonight. He really does look the part. He starts a Watford attack which ends with Richarlison having a dig from just inside the area. The ball clips off Smalling’s elbow. Watford want a penalty, but they’re not getting it. A corner instead. The ball’s hoicked into the mixer. Smalling clanks into Prodl, and there’s another shout for a spot kick. Neither claim was particularly convincing. We move on.

50 min: A free kick for Watford out on the left. They load the box. Cleverley floats it in. Smalling clears with ease. United break upfield, Lingard tearing down the right. Mariappa does very well to keep up with the speedy forward and slide the ball out for a corner. Nothing much comes from the set piece.

48 min: Romelu Lukaku could do with a goal: just one in his last 11 matches. He has a look from a position to the right of the Watford D. It’s easily blocked. That early-season form continues to elude him. But this is the sort of evening during which his luck could turn.

47 min: Richarlison finds Cleverley down the left wing. The midfielder crosses low and hard, but it’s easily claimed by an otherwise bored David de Gea. There were no yellow shirts in there to put pressure on the United keeper.

And we’re off again! That was a wonderful first 45 from Manchester United, who soaked up a little early Watford pressure with ease, then burst into life in devastating fashion. The stunned hosts get the ball rolling for the second 45, and will be desperate to avoid the six-goal shellacking handed out by Manchester City; you can bet United fancy their chances of repeating the punishment and sending a message across town. “Do you think Mourinho might have been listening to the interviews that Cantona has been giving over the past few days about his preference for Guardiola’s style of play?” wonders David Wall.

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A late chance for Watford to claw their way back into the game there. But otherwise they’ve been outclassed by a relentless United, who have looked sharp, dangerous and, yes, entertaining in so many of their attacks. Old bus-parking Jose Mourinho, huh.

45 min +2: Femenia makes like George Best, dribbling at pace from a deep position on the right, across the park to the left-hand side of the United area. He scoops a cross into the middle. Richarlison, six yards out, loops a header over a flailing de Gea, but onto the top of the bar and out of play. So unlucky!

45 min: It should be four. Lukaku powers down the middle and fires low and hard towards the goal. Gomes can only parry, the ball breaking to the left. Lingard is first onto the loose ball, and must score, but he hammers the shot straight at Gomes, who tips over spectacularly. That’s a fine save, though Gomes should never have had a chance. The resulting corner comes to nothing.

43 min: Lindelof manages to concede a free kick for hand ball while chesting down a simple short throw-in. The free kick comes to nothing, but that was careless and a wee bit strange.

42 min: ... he blooters the ball straight into the wall. No good. No hat-trick. Ah well. To be fair, he’s earned the right. He’s been superb.