The Mill is only one of an assortment of hacks weeping salt tears at the news that Diego Costa’s £57m move to Atlético Madrid is finally done, bringing the curtain down on one of the great interminable transfer sagas of our age. Chelsea will look to swiftly move on from Costa’s departure by tying Eden Hazard to an eye-watering £300,000-per-week deal.
Should their long-term target stay at Stamford Bridge, Real Madrid suits will hop on the London Overground to Tottenham and try to prise Dele Alli away with a swap deal involving fringe player Mateo Kovacic and, presumably, several bags of cash. Real Madrid also like the cut of US tyro Christian Pulisic’s jib – whatever Alexi Lalas may say – and have the Dortmund winger next on their wish-list.
Staying with Europe’s bright young things, Monaco midfielder Youri Tielemans has explained he didn’t fancy a move to Arsenal because of concerns about game time. “I had to be honest with myself and take a look at the midfielders Arsenal have got,” Tielemans said, as Francis Coquelin and Granit Xhaka ran directly into each other behind him. Arsenal are tracking another wonderkid – MK Dons’ 16-year-old striker Dylan Asonganyi, who is also wanted by Manchester United.
Jürgen Klopp has run the rule over his jet-heeled, profligate Liverpool charges and decided what he needs is a new pacy winger, in the form of Spartak Moscow’s Quincy Promes. The Holland international was injured for the 1-1 draw on Tuesday, but Klopp still waxed lyrical about him in his press conference. “He has speed, he’s good in one v one situations and all that stuff,” Klopp cooed. With those attributes, a cool £50m should do it.
Not every Premier League manager can daydream about making it rain in January. Slaven Bilic has been on the brink at West Ham for so long, he practically is the brink – but should his reign come to an end this weekend, Huddersfield’s David Wagner and former Dortmund manager Thomas Tuchel are top of the list to pace the London Stadium’s two-mile technical area.
Bayern Munich are keen on Lyon’s Willem Geubbels, who made his Ligue 1 debut this weekend despite being born in 2001. That’s made the Mill feel even older than usual, but there are a few 30-somethings still in demand, including Edinson Cavani and Antonio Candreva, wanted to beef up Chelsea’s squad in January. Then there’s Atlético Madrid striker Kevin Gameiro, who’s the latest inconsistent striker to be linked with Everton.
Finally, with Christian Benteke out injured and not that good even when he wasn’t, Roy Hodgson hopes to solve Crystal Palace’s goalscoring woes with a move for – and you’ll like this – free agent Rickie Lambert.