A mildly petulant thump on the subs' bench followed by José Mourinho's assertion that "the door is open" has prompted several top European clubs to launch rescue missions to airlift Juan Mata out of Stamford Bridge. Much has been made of the midfielder's show of frustration upon being hooked during his side's match against Southampton and the Mirror reports that representatives of Napoli have already opened talks with Chelsea with a view to discovering if it might be possible to reunite the disgruntled Spaniard with Rafael Benítez.
Juventus, Paris Saint-Germain, Liverpool and Manchester United are also reported to be interested in signing the 25-year-old, who will not be agitating for a move in the January transfer window unless it's made clear that he is no longer wanted at Stamford Bridge.
Should Chelsea decide to move him on, it will not be to a Premier League rival or on a loan deal. Curiously, in yesterday's Football Weekly podcast, Serie A expert James Richardson theorised that a move to Napoli might be on the cards for Mata, in a deal that would involve Gonzalo Higuaín going the other way. In a world where little makes sense to the Rumour Mill any more, it doesn't sound particularly outlandish or implausible, although the Telegraph reports that Chelsea have already had an opening bid of £50m for the Argentina striker rejected.
Coming as it did at the end of a 25-pass move, the Rumour Mill still has nightmares about the time it had to try to describe this marvellous Esteban Cambiasso goal for Argentina against Serbia Montenegro in an online minute-by-minute report over seven years ago and will therefore be monitoring speculation linking the Inter midfielder with Manchester United and Chelsea with mounting trepidation.
The midfielder's contract with the Serie A side expires this summer, so he may be available on the cheap in the January transfer window. Cambiasso's compatriot Diego Milito and the Romanian defender Christian Chivu are also reported to be available in an impromptu Inter car boot sale that was hastily organised after club owner Erick Thohir baulked at the size of his wage bill. The Mirror reports that West Ham have enquired about bringing Milito to the Boleyn Ground, but the player is apparently uninterested in moving to London and would rather head back to his old Argentinian stomping ground of Racing in June.
Tired by his lack of opportunities at Manchester City, centre-half Joleon Lescott will take a pay cut if it means securing a loan move to Tottenham Hotspur. Besiktas, Everton, Aston Villa, Newcastle and Monaco are also performing stretches ahead of the race to secure the defender's scrawl.
Juventus have let it be known that Arsenal can have their Montenegrin striker Mirko Vucinic if they stump up £8m and desist with any frivolous chat regarding a loan deal. West Ham have also been giving Vucinic the glad eye and will also go head-to-head with Arsenal in the race to bring his Juve team-mate Fabio Quagliarella to London. Manchester City's young Swedish striker John Guidetti is also wanted by the increasingly unhappy Hammers, who will have to do battle with Stoke City to secure his services.
New Cardiff manager Ole Gunnar Solskjaer will begin his Premier League managerial regime by attempting to convince Tom Ince to leave the pleasure beaches and twinkling illuminations of Blackpool to be nearer more intellectually stimulating tourist amenities such as the Wales Millennium Centre and the third Marquess of Bute's rural retreat in Tongwynlais, near Caerphilly.
Sunderland striker Steven Fletcher is wanted by Celtic and Hull City, while Manchester United's Dutch left-back Alex Buttner could be off to Galatasaray in a state of affairs that will lead conspiracy theorists everywhere to speculate about David Moyes being a step closer to signing Everton's Leighton Baines.
Basel defender Fabian Schar is on Chelsea's shopping list, while a successful Liverpool bid for the Swiss club's Egyptian's winger Mohamed Salah could pave the way for Raheem Sterling to head to Swansea City-in-freefall on loan. Nottingham Forest are searching down behind the sofa for enough spare change to tempt West Brom to part with 26-year-old midfielder Graham Dorrans, while their rivals Derby County want Tottenham's Simon Dawkins to make his loan deal with them permanent. The midfielder defied doctors to return from a knee injury that had sidelined him for over two years when he was 20 and has been instrumental in helping Steve McClaren's side win eight of their past 10 Championship games.
In high-profile bearded playmaker news, Carlo Ancelotti has said he's confident that Xabi Alonso will stay at Real Madrid rather than run down his contract and move on to pastures new in June. "I think that we will find a solution and reach an agreement between the club and the player," he said, before enquiring about the possibility of bringing Andrea Pirlo to the Bernabéu just in case his star playmaker decides to go elsewhere.
And finally, having marvelled at Stoke roll-up man's total astonishment upon discovering his club had signed Wilson Palacios for a deal worth up to £8m just two and a half years ago, the Rumour Mill suspects sales of Old Holborn and Rizlas in the Potteries could sky-rocket when the Honduran is moved on to Real Betis for just £500,000.