Don't say the Rumour Mill isn't about award-winning innovation. For nearly 13 years and across roughly 3,000 Mills, it has cut and pasted rumours from British and continental newspapers, made the odd pithy "gag" and, er … er … does briefly allowing comments below the line count? Anyway, let's not dwell on the past. For soon the Rumour Mill will go interactive!
Soon you'll see a whizzy graphic above the headline, inviting you to vote on whether you think, say, that Wesley Sneijder will move to Galatasaray. It won't just be teasing you; it'll be saying 'Eat me, eat me now', like a huge tube of Häagen-Dazs that's been given the power of speech and a deathwish. Succumb to temptation and you'll be invited to tell all your friends about your decision on Facebook, thus quite possibly saving the Guardian in the process. At least that's the thinking. What could possibly go wrong?
Yes, as you may have guessed, Sneijder is a hot favourite to move to Galatasaray. According to Internazionale president Massimo Moratti, "Yes, the offer of Galatasaray has arrived and we would be fine, now it all depends on Sneijder." Apparently a €6m-a-year contract is on the table, but Sneijder wants to hold out to see if Premier League club with deeper pockets than sense comes a-knocking. Knock, knock: Manchester City, are you there?
Elsewhere, Cristiano Ronaldo is on Paris St-Germain's radar, according to L'Equipe. Although it's a radar that doesn't appear to go bleep-bleep, or show any sign of a six-packed soccer superstar swimming into view. The paper quotes PSG important honcho Leonardo, who insists "PSG has become a club where everything is possible", before – without pausing for to blush – admitting: "There is absolutely nothing concrete, zero contacts." Ah. Anything else? Yes. Apparently Leo Messi "will never go away from Barcelona". Hmm. Tomorrow from Leo: the sun rises in the east.
Bad news for Crystal Palace fans. And indeed anyone else who covets Wilfried Zaha. Manchester United are leading the 100m dash for the winger and hope to sign him for £12m. Which, if memory serves, is pretty much what they paid Sporting Lisbon for Ronaldo a decade ago.
Meanwhile it's not just in his wine cellar where Sir Alex Ferguson eyes a superior vintage: apparently he wants Ashley Cole to join Frank Lampard in his squad during the summer. However Andrea Pirlo wants Lampard to join him for some fun with the Old Lady. "If he wants to play in Italy I would welcome him to Juventus with open arms," said Pirlo. "Lampard could have another four years at the top in Italy."
Speaking of Italy, it's time to spin the wheel and play 'Which striker are Juventus being linked with today?' Hats off to everyone who chose Borussia Dortmund's Robert Lewandowski. According to calciomercato, Cezary Kucharski, the agent of the Poland international, "has not excluded such possibility".
However Newcastle's Davide Santon will see out the remaining 18 months of his contract rather than move to Milan, according to the Newcastle's Newcastle Evening Chronicle. "I have had a year and a half here," he insisted. "I really enjoy it. I am happy at the club." There's always one, isn't there?
Meanwhile like some second-hand BMX salesman, it hasn't taken long for Harry Redknapp to start a-wheelin' and dealin'. He's made a £5m offer for West Brom defender Jonas Olsson – although why he'd want to give up a provisional seat on the bus to Europe for a one-way ticket to the Championship isn't clear. Redknapp is also keen on signing William Gallas, although why the Frenchman would want to give up a provisional seat etc and so on.