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All Action No Plot - Sun May 6 1:00 PM
1. Not The Abysmal Showing I’d Been Promised A confession of sorts to begin with, as it’s generally best to air these things at the outset – I did not view the game live, so by the time the telly-box re-ran the binge in its entirety I was already well aware of the outcome. The …
All Action No Plot - Tue May 1 1:02 PM
Slightly stodgy stuff all round, but these routine 2-0 home wins are necessary fare. That I could only really muster three and a half observations tells its own slightly damning story really, what? 1. Lloris Monsieur Lloris has found his head shoved in the stocks and pelted from several angles wi...
All Action No Plot - Mon Apr 23 12:30 PM
Apologies for ambling in a day late with this missive, you can blame it on the post-prandial snifter, which turned into two or three and a night carousing with the best of them in south London. Yesterday, consequently, I was in no fit state for human consumption, which seemed rather apt given the...
All Action No Plot - Wed Apr 18 12:28 PM
Hmm, difficult to know what to make of that one, what? A bit of a struggle to find the delicate phrase that sums it all up. Not that my old man, AANP Senior, had much trouble, mind. “Rubbish, ” was his pithy assessment as the bell sounded, and I suppose it’s hard to disagree. 1. The …
All Action No Plot - Sun Apr 15 11:38 AM
1. Off-The-Ball Struggles I don’t think I’d be deceiving my public in suggesting that that was right up there with the more underwhelming nights in recent memory. Admittedly few of us would have had particularly wild expectations, but City’s recent form was enough to have some of us glancing surr...
All Action No Plot - Sun Apr 8 5:12 PM
1. Another Lovely Dembele Day A bad day for fans of the black and white portrayals of teams as either World-Beaters or Abject Failures, as we pretty neatly straddled the middle ground between those two throughout. It would be a defamation of character to suggest that our heroes were bereft of ide...
All Action No Plot - Sun Mar 11 8:13 PM
1. Reaction to Defeat “The true test of a team is not how they celebrate victory, but how they react to defeat.” I’d be deceiving my public if I claimed that line – paraphrased, don’t you know – as one of my own. In fact I’m not sure who said it, and frankly with gags …
All Action No Plot - Thu Mar 8 12:22 PM
1. That Sickening Feeling It was with a moody, morose, hangdog expression that I picked at the morning repast, I don’t mind admitting. One sometimes reads the phrase, “Sick to the pit of his stomach”, in murder mysteries and horror yarns and the like, and I never quite knew what the chap was gett...
All Action No Plot - Thu Mar 1 11:36 AM
1. VAR, Apparently Just as well we started thumping in goals from all angles in the second half, because by the midway point of the first half the two dozen or so brave souls who had made the pilgrimage to Wembley appeared ready to grab the nearest pitchfork and riot, in protest at VAR and …
All Action No Plot - Sun Feb 25 4:08 PM
1. Lackadaisical From Top To Bottom The quickest route from A to B, so the boffins used to instruct me, is in a straight line, which seems a reasonable enough way of approaching that particular conundrum; but if you are a member of the good ship Hotspur it pretty much is a condition of employment...
All Action No Plot - Sun Feb 18 8:03 PM
1. Aggression, or Lack Thereof Should any passing strangely politely enquire whether we have the ability to field two separate elevens they can now be answered fairly emphatically in the affirmative, the evidence being paraded on the pitch at kick-off. Eleven completely different pairs of legs, f...
All Action No Plot - Wed Feb 14 1:02 PM
1. That Calamitous Start As calamitous starts go, this one was the poster-boy of a generation. It felt like just off-screen there must have been dodgy fitting collapsing and pipes springing leaks, because on the pitch every conceivable error in the book was being dredged up and paraded to the pay...
All Action No Plot - Sun Feb 11 1:05 PM
1. Second Half Performances I think any jury would agree that the first half was a fairly cagey affair. Not a million miles away from a game of chess I suppose, with one side nudging a pawn forward a step or two, and the other side dangling an experimental bishop to survey the battlefield. Their …
All Action No Plot - Thu Feb 8 12:50 PM
1. Squad Depth Like A Military Parade Pre kick-off, our glorious leader made every change conceivable to the starting eleven, which, he’ll be delighted to know, was fine by me. Bigger fish await, and all that. Amongst other things this gave the opportunity to parade to the watching world the full...
All Action No Plot - Mon Feb 5 12:40 PM
As just about every living soul on the planet has immersed themselves in the rights and wrongs of the various decisions in those final ten minutes, I might incline the bean towards the various other goings-on. 1. Lloris Playing From The Back Starting at the beginning, I think the shrewder observe...
All Action No Plot - Thu Feb 1 5:13 PM
1. Perfect Performance, Tens All Round Well that was an absolute tour de force. It was the sort of pristine performance that the critics shower with praise, and then proceeds to swipe every gong available at the glitzy award bash. From the rip-snorting first minute to the olé-riddled final few sw...
All Action No Plot - Sun Jan 28 12:09 PM
I suppose the non-Spurs-supporting mob who traverse this Fair Isle allowed themselves a chuckle or two at our expense yesterday. In fact, I can do more than suppose, I can report the point as one of fact. And the reason I can do the aforementioned is that just about every blasted one of them spen...
All Action No Plot - Sun Jan 21 7:15 PM
1. Full-Backs Exposed I think it’s fair to conclude that that did not really go as planned. Instead of taking the game to our hosts from the off, we were a tad off-colour and distrait, and the early initiative having been up for grabs for any willing taker, Southampton had a whirl at it. In …
All Action No Plot - Sun Jan 14 2:00 PM
1. A Half-Hour of Vintage Dembele One of my cohort of Spurs-watchers was fairly underwhelmed by the entire binge yesterday, which rather goes to show that you can never be too sure of things; but I fancy that if you had been sitting close enough you might have heard me purr at certain points. Not...
All Action No Plot - Fri Jan 5 1:46 PM
strong>1. These Sort of Games: A Lament Times, as the old bird murmured, are a-changing, and he may have had a point. It would not have happened in the day of WG Grace and chums, but in the modern game it is virtually the norm for one team to help themselves to 70% plus of …
All Action No Plot - Wed Jan 3 12:49 PM
1. Mighty Great Big Swathes of Luck Ask any young oil of my acquaintance and I’m pretty sure that they would report back to you that AANP is a well-rounded young nib, who helps old ladies cross the road, pays his taxes, and above all, has a keen sense of honesty (aside from that whopper …
All Action No Plot - Mon Jan 1 11:35 AM
Happy new year, fellow lilywhite-lovers. An early apology – while idling away the wee small hours a feature on new year’s resolutions seemed a passable idea, for no doubt a tweak is needed here and a polish there. The sum of parts however, is a rather antsy, whingeing piece, which seems to sugges...
All Action No Plot - Sun Dec 24 6:51 PM
1. Dele Alli Better start at the beginning, what? First of all, the yellow card challenge, which seemed something of a non-event when one dons the white coat and rushes to the microscope. Our man appeared to be attempting to block the other chap, rather than crush his legs, and arrived late, maki...
All Action No Plot - Thu Dec 7 11:26 AM
1. Big Night for Llorente Greeted with half-hearted shrugs and myriad empty seats though this meaningless dead rubber might have been to the naked eye, last night’s joust was absolutely loaded to bursting point with meaning for various members of the supporting cast. Chief amongst them was senor...
All Action No Plot - Wed Nov 22 12:26 PM
There will be a cheery whistle on the lips today no doubt, as this was a vastly more satisfactory pitstop than Saturday’s rot. Not perfect, but on the scale of things this was far closer to click-the-heels-and-hat-at-a-jaunty-angle than morning-after-grogginess-and-for-the-love-of-all-things-plea...
All Action No Plot - Sun Nov 19 12:57 PM
1. Off the Boil No doubt about it, that performance stank like the rancid contents of last week’s lunch, left to its own devices in the AANP refrigerator. No man (bar the boy Davinson Sanchez) escapes censure. Despite having successfully negotiated the tests of Dortmund, Liverpool and Real blinki...
All Action No Plot - Mon Nov 6 12:35 PM
1. Ongoing Labours Vs Defensive Types If there were a dawn chorus this morning the last folk you will want to ask for a blow-by-blow account of it will be the eleven who began for us, because when the sun peaked and the midday kick-off loomed, our heroes were still emerging from the mists of …
All Action No Plot - Thu Nov 2 4:26 PM
1. Bright Moments From Dele Young Dele has been smothered in fuss for around two years without a pause for breath, so naturally the young fish is today being feted as the second coming, after one scrappy poke, a heavily deflected second and an open goal miss. A curious specimen this chap, because...
All Action No Plot - Sun Oct 29 4:58 PM
1. Struggles Without Kane Having spent the last 48 hours or so confidently assuring friend and foe alike that we are plenty more than a one-man team, and the loss of Kane would be swatted away with the care-free insouciance of an elephant dispatching a few errant flies on its muzzle, you can well...
All Action No Plot - Thu Oct 26 12:56 PM
1. Lethargy, Via His Master’s Voice A tad difficult to burn with passion either way about this one. Our heroes sleep-walked into a lead, snoozed through to half-time and then sleep-walked into defeat. At no point before, during or after did anyone appear to care a hang for the thing, which had al...