Tuesday Hoddle of Coffee, Wilshere Sees Red Edition, August 22, 2017

No. No, I don’t think it will.

Other News

I love the folks at Howler:

Location: Visitors’ Dressing Room at Estadi Montilivi

[Altetico Madrid players enter, heads hung low. They trail newly promoted Girona 0-2. The room is silent. FERNANDO TORRES places a towel over his head.]

[Manager DIEGO SIMEONE walks in. Players avoid eye contact. He produces a pack of cigarettes from his coat pocket, lights up, and takes a drag.]

[SIMEONE raises the cigarette up.]

SIMEONE: Which one of you wants it?

[No one says anything.]

SIMEONE: I said. Which. One. Of. You. Wants. It?

[Silence.]

SIMEONE: Okay. If that’s how you want to play this? I guess I’ll choose for you.

[SIMEONE walks over to TORRES. He places the cigarette to the towel. It catches fire. TORRES jumps up and runs in circles screaming. JAN OBLAK tackles TORRES. He puts out the flames.]

Sterling’s equalizer for City yesterday was well taken:

Sergi Roberto is staying at Barcelona.

Ousmane Dembele is now reportedly closer to completing his much discussed move to Barcelona.