How Paul Simon helped us make sense of lists and why one in particular will not be music to David Moyes's ears

I blame Paul Simon. It’s all very well being one half of Simon and Garfunkel – well, one third of Simon and Garfunkel actually because Art was twice as tall – but some things are unforgivable.

It’s all very well exposing the evils of apartheid with your classic album Graceland but, as I say, some things are beyond the pale.

My problem with Paul is his 1975 composition 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. You know the one: “Slip out the back Jack; Make a new plan Stan; You don’t need to be coy Roy; Hop on the bus Gus; Just drop off the key Lee ...”

Unwittingly, the gifted American songwriter invented, what is known in the business, as “the list”. Now, it is impossible to pick up a newspaper – including The Daily Telegraph – without finding “Five things we learnt from last night’s match” or “Six reasons why we love the Queen” or “Seven recipes with leftover chicken”.

What, I hear you say, about the Ten Commandments? OK, the Bible originally invented “the list”, but Paul Simon revived it after it had been forgotten for nearly 2,000 years and, in my book, that is an even bigger crime.

Disturbingly, lists have become much more sophisticated since 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover. Confronted with the ongoing struggles of David Moyes while he was clinging on at Manchester United, Simon would have contented himself with a simple “Throw out your toys Moyes”.

Last month, my colleague Mike Adamson compiled 31 reasons David Moyes should leave Manchester United. It is a work of art in itself, complete with video, photographs, tables, links and persuasive arguments and is still available on the Telegraph Sport website. If you have not seen it already then take a look.

In fact, if anyone ever compiled a list of the best lists that list would be top of the list. Although probably not in the Moyes household. Or the Sir Alex Ferguson household, because he, after all, decided the former Everton manager was the chosen one. Or the Glazers household in the United States because it is going to cost them a small fortune to turn the club around.

Adamson’s list also sparked a rival Internet list of 24 reasons why Manchester United should NOT sack David Moyes by Harsh Gupta, a self-styled “football superfan (feature writer)”. But you don’t need to be a mathematical genius to work out that 31 is a bigger number than 24 and so the Telegraph Sport man was right and the “football superfan” was wrong.

Why are we so fascinated by lists? Why are they so popular? Well, there are a number of reasons for that and so I will have to make a list to explain.

1. They are fun and probably not to be taken too seriously (except for the Ten Commandments of course).

2. They are easy to read. Where a reader may be put off by a well-argued 800-word article, a list of 10 ideas – even if they are 80 words each (10 x 80 = 800) – does not seem as daunting.

3. They force the writer to get to the point. And that is probably the main point. Lists are concise, they are anti-waffle, they don’t go on and on, they don’t prevaricate, they don’t go in for circumlocution.

Finally, and fittingly, I would like to return to Paul Simon’s 50 Ways to Leave Your Lover, which was taken from the album Still Crazy After All These Years which is another long title. Although not as long as The Beatles track Everybody's Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey.

Having listened to 50 Ways again, I can only actually find the five listed above. But would Paul Simon have had a worldwide hit – and reinvented “the list” – with “Five ways to leave your lover”? I think not.

Fifty is a substantial number and so is 31. So it is little wonder that David Moyes now finds his name added to the list of former Manchester United managers.