Happy Friday!!

There is a BOATLOAD of stuff to cover in today’s mailbag!

However, before we get to that let’s remember what life is really about...

... and in awesome non-Everton related news.....

Is it a little dusty in here?

Or is that just me?

With our spirits high, let’s test our resolve by charging first into everything Everton!

To your questions!!

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Of course my good friend Jon is talking about none other than the one and only.....

THEO!!!!

Now Jon, I am COMPLETELY in your corner when it comes to being disgusted with Toffees management for their handling of the back line over the past three windows, which is exactly why I rant about it later.

The fan reaction has been mixed with some fans wary over Theo Walcott’s injury history, while other fans see the Englishman’s 19 goals last season and get excited at the prospect of a goal-scoring winger.

How do I feel??

Look, you can be an snarky as you want about Theo’s lack of playing time this season on a less than stellar (though still faaaaaaaaaaar better than Everton) Arsenal side.

The fact is, Everton has about 2 players grand total who can currently score a goal:

Wayne Rooney and Gylfi Sigurdssson.

Unfortunately Wayne needs two shots from 12 yards to get his and Gylfi has to produce goals while also being platooned wide left and forced to cover for the joke that is the Toffees left back position, pictured below.

Cenk Tosun is going to start scoring goals, but unless Big Dunc is ready to suit back up the Toffees are in dire need of goal scoring and Theo has provided that as recently as last year.

He even threw in some defense to boot.

Look, I get it.

He’s been hurt and for some reason he can’t get ahead of a half-in-the-bag Alex Iwobi.

These are valid points, but so is the fact that he would have more than doubled the total of our second leading scorer last year. Ross Barkley contributed 8 from the right wing while Theo chipped in 19.

If Ross wasn’t a snake we would be upgrading him into Theo and still have change left over, which would be a steal.

(Of course Ross IS a punk and left us out to dry so we have to pay the extra change, but that’s business. So we move on...)

Walcott is a proven player in the league, can score goals, and plays with a genuinely positive attitude.

Sure, he has been the easy target of jokes by England fans, but then again they themselves are an easy target.

Says the U.S. supporter.

:(

Anyways........

Walcott can bring genuine excitement to a team that has been genuinely lacking it.

In fact, he has already got new signing Cenk Tosun buzzing!

While the Toffees have more work to do, and this move is not without it’s faults, I believe Theo Walcott is going to be a positive influence for the Toffees and can get Goodison rocking.

It sounds like he’s up for it too.

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NEVER hold it in.

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Old? Or Experienced?

However, there is this too -

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Everton’s season in a nutshell:

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Nope.....

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I am going to be honest, the specifics of Everton’s medicals still escape me.

However, based on the clubs incompetence in identifying talent, closing deals, announcing deals and overall on field performance, it shouldn’t shock anyone that Everton can’t seem to get people in and out of Finch Farm for what’s supposed to be the ‘easy’ part of the deal without some problem always popping up.

So what do I think is holding up Everton’s transfers come time for the medical?

If I HAD to guess, I would imagine Everton follow some sort of old routine that’s ‘been around forever’ but in reality is a waste of time and energy.

However, now that Sam Allardyce and his fancy pants analytics team are around, I am hoping to see the backroom staff expedite their processes.

I am not going to blame the medical team entirely, but having to announce Cenk Tosun at halftime of a derby match as opposed to having him play in it is a direct reflection on the inability of the club to sort out the finer details.

Of course compounding that issue was the fact Liverpool won on a goal by a player (Van Dijk) who was signed in the same window as Tosun, but thanks to Liverpool not haggling over pennies and taking days to complete a medical, was actually eligible to compete.

Photo by Kieran Galvin/NurPhoto via Getty Images

Whatever the continuing reasons for Everton’s ability to function with expedience in the market, even AFTER agreeing with a deal with their club, is one that must be addressed before it kills MORE deals the squad desperately needs to get over the line.

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Happier times.....

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Hmmm.....I think we have enough options at RB???

Speaking of defense.....

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You are absolutely right in that the club’s inability to sign ANY kind of legitimate replacement, either long-term OR short-term, for Leighton Baines, or the left-side of the center back pairing is worst than criminal......

It’s not as if a string of unfortunate injuries have put Everton in some type of bind.

In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Leighton Baines continued steady performances have actually bought the board two of three more windows than should have been allowed.

Photo by Alex Broadway/Getty Images

Sure LB isn’t the marauding fullback he was in his younger years, but the Toffees legend has continued to be a more than serviceable outside back

Had Everton addressed this GLARING need during one of the previous three windows, the board would have been off the hook for having a direct crippling impact on the squad.

Unfortunately the curtain was pulled back on this, as you put it, ‘dereliction of duty’, when LB went down with a calf injury a few weeks ago.

THEN was the time to panic.

While Cuco Martina has done a more than admirable job in the defensive third of the field in preventing teams exploiting such an obvious area of weakness, the fact that he is right-footed means he basically has to pull back every time he has the ball in order to give service.

The result has been a season of imbalance, displayed by their tendency to attack down the right:

While JonJoe Kenny has shown a desire to get forward, he also needs to become a bit more consistent in his crossing, and he just ISN’T Seamus Coleman.

Getting back to the left-side, there have been murmurs of interest in Bayern Munich’s Juan Bernat, whose immense talent is only matched by his immense injury history.

While Bernat comes with tons of red flags, at this point he is a left-footed professional soccer player who could be willing to line up in the back four.

That being said, while Bernat is only 24, his injury history means the Toffees need to kick it into high gear in identifying and signing a long-term replacement at the position.

If not, there have to be serious questions asked about the sanity of those making decisions for the Toffees because the problem has been going on so long....

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TOFFEE TUNES

Sure Sure

Sure Sure

I have been anticipating this album ever since I heard the first single last year, and I am happy to say.....it did not disappoint.

Starting off with Giants the album is a great mix of rock with some pop elements. There are a ton of great songs and it’s a perfect album to pick you up out of your Toffees-related blues.

Favorite Track: This Must Be The Place