Sometimes someone will say something that sounds so perfect when coming out of their mouths that you feel as though it must be scripted.
And on this occasion, that someone is Jamie Vardy .
The Leicester and England forward - he of the famous "chat s**t get banged" tweet from 2011 - was an unused substitute for the Three Lions for the 2-1 win over Slovakia at Wembley this week, and so he had a good view from the bench when Dele Alli's middle finger hit the headlines .
The Spurs midfielder could face a ban after appearing to make a gesture during the game, but Alli himself and England manager Gareth Southgate have been at pains to suggest that the target was his teammate Kyle Walker, and that the gesture was all a joke.
Enter Vardy, whose own take on it all is absolutely perfect in its own, Vardy-ish way.
“The middle finger? Come on, it’s harmless,” he said.
“It’s just something that has been blown out of proportion. He was doing it to Walks.
“It’s just harmless banter and has been blown way out of proportion. They’re always having a laugh and a giggle. That’s just how they are.
“They were team-mates for a few years. They’re going to like to mess around, especially now that Walks has moved on himself.
“It would definitely be harsh [if he got banned]. If he is getting reprimanded for that, then we might as well take emotion and enjoyment out of the game.
“Everyone has got to have a bit of banter, otherwise I don’t think you would get through the day of being a footballer.”
You. Wouldn't. Get. Through. The. Day. Of. Being. A. Footballer.
Glorious, Jamie. Just glorious.