Welcome to a special spring-bank-holiday edition of the Rumour Mill. Think of it in the same way you would another great British bank-holiday service, the rail replacement bus. It’s the same old journey, just even more tedious, long-winded and painful than usual. But we’ll get there in the end.
The list of players Manchester United fancy continues to grow and grow. Internazionale winger Ivan Perišić is the latest diacritic-heavy name on the list. United have been given a price of £36m for the Croatian international, a fee they consider a bit steep despite his ability to go outside a man. So imagine how Chelsea feel: they’ve been quoted £48m for some reason.
United are also after Paris St-Germain midfielder Blaise Matuidi. They have been for some time, but the 30-year-old has refused to sign a new contract with the French giants, and José Mourinho’s eyes are suddenly on stalks.
It hasn’t really worked out for Claude Puel at Southampton. Just a top-10 finish and the club’s first League Cup final for 38 years. He’s waiting to be bundled out of the door in disgrace, and has set up a contingency plan with St Etienne just in case he’s read the runes correctly.
Manchester City are close to stealing off with another of Monaco’s young stars. Having already signed Bernardo Silva, they’re now in for left-back Benjamin Mendy. Across the road, Mourinho, having also expressed an interest, fumes impotently.
All change at Woking.
Atlético Madrid are stepping up their interest in FA Cup final goalscoring hero Diego Costa. You can still be a goalscoring hero on the losing side, right? It’s all about taking part.
Here’s another rumour we’ve heard before, but it’s a quiet day, so. West Ham United are ready to place a £20m order for Manchester City striker Kelechi Iheanacho. The Hammers also want Sunderland keeper Jordan Pickford, and are preparing a £25m cash-plus-player package to fend off Everton. The identity of the player they’re planning to offload to Wearside is as yet unknown. Former Newcastle favourite and boyhood Toon fan Andy Carroll? Please let it be former Newcastle favourite and boyhood Toon fan Andy Carroll.
Birmingham City wheeler-dealer Harry Redknapp is very interested in Aberdeen winger Jonny Hayes, who came as close as anyone this season to undoing the Celtic Invincibles at Hampden on Saturday.
And the toilet on the bus to Exeter St Davids is out of order, apologies for any inconvenience but that’s the way it is.