Still without a goal, let alone a point, and never looking close to claiming either at Old Trafford, the worrying thing for Crystal Palace is their predicament could get a lot worse before it gets any better. Chelsea are their next opponents, and while the international break might give manager Roy Hodgson some welcome pause for thought, Palace will have no hope against the Premier League champions if they prove as anaemic as they were here against a completely dominant Manchester United. It was boys against men, very large, very hungry ones.
Wayne Hennessey might have hoped he would deny Jose Mourinho’s rampant side from running up their sixth four-goal haul in 11 matches when he made an excellent save to frustrate substitute Anthony Martial ten minutes from time. But the Palace goalkeeper’s net was breached for a fourth time soon after when Belgium striker Romelu Lukaku converted Martial’s cross for his 15th goal in 12 matches for club and country this season. It added some extra gloss to the scoreline after two goals from the towering Marouane Fellaini, following Juan Mata’s early opener, which had put United firmly on course for their sixth win in seven league games.
For now, Palace will just be thankful they do not have to return to Manchester in the competition again this term, having been thumped 5-0 by City a week earlier, although whether they will be back here next season is hard to say. Yes, Palace were severely weakened, with Christian Benteke, Wilfried Zaha, Scott Dann and Ruben Loftus-Cheek among the absentees, but even with them Hodgson will have his work cut out.
“At the moment, we fear we’re the boxer who is fighting in the wrong weight class he is not able to handle,” the Palace manager said. “We are going to take the blows to the chin and get knocked down but I don’t think we stayed on the canvas, I think we tried to get back up.
“These two [United and City] are getting good results against almost everyone they play against so if we can keep the players positive and stop them doubting themselves too much, you never know, we could look back on this terrible patch at the end of the season and say it helped us build the character to stay in the league.”
Palace did not even given themselves a chance. With confidence so low, it was imperative they at least got a foothold in the game but all that work on the training ground this week was undone inside two and a half minutes when Mata claimed another early United goal.
Palace are not exactly on the small side but they could not live with United’s sheer physicality. Don’t get me wrong, United were the team playing the football, but it must be deflating for rugged opponents such as Palace that they are not just at a serious technical and mental disadvantage here but a physical one, too.
United’s second and third goals, both scored by Fellaini, derived from excellent balls swung into Palace’s penalty area where a mob of man-mountains were waiting to gorge themselves. But it was the same story at the opposite end of the pitch when United had to defend the odd corner. Lining up to head the ball clear were Fellaini, Nemanja Matic, Chris Smalling, Romelu Lukaku and Phil Jones, imposing figures all. Mamadou Sakho did win one of those duels, heading over from six yards out, but United barely give an inch in those aerial battles. Bullied this side will not be.
They can play, too. Just ask Joel Ward. The Palace right back was turned inside out by Marcus Rashford in the lead up to United’s opening goal, the England striker skipping away to the left by-line before passing to Mata to score. It looked a long way back for Palace at that moment and so it would prove.
Jose Mourinho confirmed on Friday that Paul Pogba’s injury was “long-term” but Fellaini is revelling in the Frenchman’s absence. The Belgian and Matic dominated Palace’s five-man midfield and, behind them, Jones exuded authority and composure in defence.
Fellaini is not always the easiest on the eye but he is very effective. He also likes getting on the end of crosses from Ashley Young, who is starting to make the left back slot his own. Young’s ball for Fellaini’s first goal was a peach, whipping a cross to the far post where Fellaini steered home a controlled volley to make it 2-0. Game over? It most certainly was when United got their third, winning a free-kick on the left edge of Palace’s penalty box. Rashford stepped up and swung in a venomous ball straight on to the head of Fellaini to score. “Marouane is a fighter, a guy with lots of pride and I am really pleased I have helped him to reach this level and change the perception the fans have now,” Mourinho said. “He is a strong character who resisted the difficulties here.”
Palace were a lost cause. Bakary Sako had momentarily stung David De Gea’s hands but that was about it. This was a mismatch in every department.
More of the same
Another 4-0 win for Manchester United, their fourth of the season already and the sixth time they've scored four in a game, and this was every bit as comfortable and easy as the scoreline suggested.
Palace, without a win or a goal in six games prior to this, were forced to start without a recognised striker and ended up being swept aside by Jose Mourinho's side without them ever really getting out of third gear. Two for Marouane Fellaini of all people tells its own story, Romelu Lukaku and Juan Mata slightly more predictable goalscorers, Martial and Lukaku could have made it more convincing still.
On this evidence, and with the fixtures coming up, it's hard to see where the form of either of these two teams is going to change any time soon.
70 mins
Not quite sure how it's not 4-0 but it's not. Lingard fouled on the edge of the box but Dean plays a great advantage for Lukaku to run clear in the area, sit Hennessey down and then very surprisingly side-foot wide of the post with the goal gaping.
Rashford is replaced by Martial, whose arrival was delayed while he took all his jewelry off.
59 mins
A quite bizarre passage of play here with Sako receiving the ball on the corner of the penalty box, stopping, looking up for a target to cross to only to realise it's meant to be him, and then just sort of standing there while first van Aarnholt, then Townsend, try and make space and United just sort of stand and watch him. Eventually, after what seemed like an age, United win the ball back.
Hodgson is readying 24-year-old Freddie Ladapo for a Premier League debut. Career to date: East Thurrock (the best of all the Thurrocks), Colchester, Woking, Nuneaton, Kidderminster, Margate, Oldham and Shrewsbury.
GOAL!!! MAN UTD 3 Palace 0
Oh Palace. The most inevitable goal in the history of football. Only a brave block from Ward stops a defensive calamity leading to a goal for Rashford but with the back line still absolutely all over the show a free kick is conceded and Fellaini gets his second of the game, heading home Rashford's set piece unmarked. Great delivery, but you'll never see an easier goal scored.
Bleaker
Honestly, it's difficult to see exactly where this is going to end for Palace. Where the win is coming from. Where the goal is coming from. Where hope is coming from.
It's not just an unusually cruel run of fixtures that has them against Man City, Man Utd and Chelsea at exactly the wrong time. With Benteke injured medium term, you just don't know how they're even going to trouble the league's lesser lights.
I can't fault Sako's first half efforts as a lone striker here, he's a game boy, but it's not his position, and Ray Lewington is on the touchline talking him through the game play by play, telling him where to go, where to stand and what to do like he's got him under remote control.
I usually cover myself after musings like this by saying "probably win 3-2 now I've said that" but, seriously, at the moment, they're more likely to fly to the moon on the team bus.
Half Time Man Utd 2 Palace 0
Only another 45 minutes to endure for those of a South London persuasion. Palace have had their moments, even forcing a sort-of save from an opposing goalkeeper when Sako 'tested' de Gea at his near post, but they're now without a league goal in six and a half games this season and well on their way to a seventh straight defeat.
Mata, who has been sublime, scored after two minutes with the equally brilliant Rashford claiming an assist. You'll struggle to find a better cross than Ashley Young's for the second goal, scored during Palace's best spell in the game by Fellaini from close range.
Drinks now while we discuss when United might declare and put the tourists into bat.
GOAL!!!! MAN UTD 2 Palace 0
Well that'll learn me. United deliver a sucker punch just as their visitors seem to be getting a foothold in the game. A move which involved a cheeky pass off the top of his shoulder by Marcus Rashford ends with a goal for Marouane Fellaini, volleying in Ashley Young's brilliant cross at the back post.
28 mins
Sako hasn't started any of Palace's last 47 league games but he's a game runner and he's worried another corner out of Smalling here. Given the balance of play, they have to make these set pieces count, but again Cabaye's delivery is headed away and then Sako is offside as it comes back in. Waste.
24 mins Palace attack
Best moment of the game so far for the visitors. Matic gets caught in possession, play is worked up to Sako on the edge of the area who tried to play Cabaye through, but it's cleared behind for a corner. That's headed straight back behind so they'll get a second go from the other side... Smalling heads away.
15 mins
The basic pattern of this game is very much like an ice hockey power play situation. Palace are very deep, and very narrow. United are setting up with width and numbers all around the penalty box and working the ball and players in all directions looking for an opening.
Palace cannot get out, and in the brief, fleeting moments they do have the ball it's punted up to Sako, who's completely isolated, and not a striker, and not looking much of a bet as a point man in this game.
Ray Lewington, Palace's assistant manager, couldn't be any closer to the action without being on the pitch and his barked instructions are all you can hear over a typically subdued Old Trafford atmosphere.
Cue Palace equaliser... I'll claim an assist.
8 mins Half a penalty appeal
Fellaini hits the deck in a crowded penalty area but our referee this afternoon says no. Safe to say if penalty enthusiast Mike Dean doesn't think it's a spot kick it almost certainly isn't.
United attack again immediately, Rashford seeing a cross cut out at the near post this time.
Bleak
Roy Hodgson is 70 years old. You really have to wonder whether he needs to be doing this to himself. Six defeats from six games, Man Utd away today, Chelsea the other side of the international break, only striker injured...
The former England manager has walked into a club that has suffered from muddled thinking, failure to learn from previous mistakes, and perhaps a deal of arrogance as well.
Much was made of Alan Pards Pardew's more attractive, expansive style of play (Newcastle fans must have missed that one) when he was brought in after the more pragmatic approach of Tony Pulis had kept Palace up against the odds. When that started to fail, there was all the usual talk of "back to basics" when Big Sam Allardicci was summoned to rescue the situation.
All fine. Except they then went for Frank De Boer and starting giving it the old "attractive, expansive style" chat again. And having done so, they then deemed four matches sufficient time for De Boer to turn a Sam Allardyce team into a Dutch-style, total footballing, passing machine.
I mean, when you go back through the Palace managers of the last 30 years there are 24 permanent ones, 22 Englishmen and two Scots (one very brief ill-fated spell for Atillo Lombardo not included), two Neil Warnocks, four Steve Coppells, two Alan Smiths, Dave Bassett, Iain Dowie, Allardyce, Pulis, Ian Holloway... It really is impossible to believe that De Boer wasn't able to get them playing like Ajax inside three months.
This is already looking like a long old season.
No rest for Lukaku, well not this week...
Much of United's early season dominance has been based on the form of Romelu Lukaku who has 14 goals in 11 appearances for club and country already since a £75m move from Everton in the summer.
Only Leicester have kept the Belgian scoreless so far this season but with Paul Pogba out until November, Marcus Rashford covering elsewhere and a return for Zlatan Ibrahimovic still some way off there's been no temptation for Mourinho to rest his main hitman.
There is, however, a chance for Belgium to leave him out of their forthcoming qualifiers given that they've already booked their place in Russia next summer. Not that Mourinho would lean on Roberto Martinez to do that at all, of course.
“Look, without Zlatan, we cannot rotate the striker, especially because Marcus Rashford is playing also in other positions. So until the moment we have Zlatan we cannot think about giving rest to our No 9, the same way we give in other positions. We cannot do that. Belgium is Roberto’s responsibility and it’s his decision to play him or not to play him. I cannot, professionally speaking, say, ‘Do this or do that’.”
But, you know, do that if you want.
Palace team
Crystal Palace have responded to this afternoon's challenge, and the injury to Christian Benteke, and the failure to land the mighty Carlton Cole on a short-term deal, by collecting up all the wingers the club has fielded over the past five seasons and picking them all at once in the same team.
Palace: Hennessey; Ward, Sakho, Delaney, Van Aanholt; Milivojevic, Cabaye; Schlupp, Puncheon, Townsend; Sako.
Subs: Speroni, Kelly, Riedewald, McArthur, Mutch, Lee, Ladapo.
Hello, good afternoon, and welcome...
...to our live coverage of Manchester United's exciting 4-0 victory at home to Crystal Palace.
Both these teams have been in ominous form this season. United have five wins and a draw from their six matches, scoring 17 goals and conceding just two. They've won 4-0 on three occasions and 4-1 twice in all competitions already and come into this game on the back of five straight wins: 3-0, 4-0, 4-1, 1-0, 4-1.
Palace, meanwhile, will soon be troubling Premier League records set by 1993/94 Swindon Town, 2012/13 Queens Park Rangers, and about half a dozen Sunderland teams. They are played six, lost six, scored non, conceded 13 in the league and are back in Manchester just seven days after a 5-0 walloping at City. You can get 18s on them winning here and, frankly, if they do, I'll give you the money myself.
We'll have team news for you around 14.00.
Preview
What is it?
It's another Premier League game between Jose Mourinho's Manchester United and Roy Hodgson's (this really happened) Crystal Palace. Second vs bottom!
When is it?
The game takes place on Saturday the 30th September at Old Trafford.
What time is kick-off?
An unusually traditional 3pm for Man Utd.
What TV channel is it on?
Nowhere in the UK unfortunately, what with it being a 3pm kick-off, but various broadcasters around the world will be showing it in venues and on screens away from these shores.
What is the team news, who is injured and suspended?
Man Utd's injury list got a little bit longer in their midweek win over CSKA Moscow as Anthony Martial was taken off with a slight thigh injury. He is a doubt for the visit of the Eagles (not the band) and joins Marouane Fellaini, Zlatan Ibrahimovic, Paul Pogba, Marcos Rojo, Michael Carrick and Phil Jones as a likely absentee.
Antonio Valencia didn't travel to Russia with the rest of the squad but should return for this match.
This all means that the most likely lineup will be a 4-2-3-1 with Marcus Rashford taking Anthony Martial's left-forward role after picking up that knock in Moscow. Ander Herrera will probably start alongside Nemanja Matic, while Juan Mata and Henrikh Mkhitaryan join Romelu Lukaku in attack.
Mourinho must decide who plays at left-back and can choose from either Daley Blind or Ashley Young, who came off early in the midweek game, which might indicate that he is first choice.
Wilfried Zaha, Christian Benteke and Connor Wickham are all injured for Palace while Ruben Loftus-Cheek is a doubt. Timothy Fosu-Mensah isn't allowed to play because he's on loan for United. Hodgson has a dilemma on his hands as Palace might go into this game without a recognised striker - they've genuinely been linked with Carlton Cole as a potential short-term option. Imagine you were a youth team striker at Palace and heard they were going to sign Carlton Cole instead of giving you a chance? Livid. Anyway, they don't have any strikers.
What are they saying?
Jose Mourinho speaking after the 4-1 win over CSKA Moscow:
“[Romelu Lukaku is] having a great record. We know that he’s a very good player, he can score lots of goals and playing in a team surrounded by quality players, [it is] even easier to do that. But I have to admit that he’s scoring really important goals and almost every game. For me, the important thing is not [how much he cost] but the important thing is two matches, six points and a good position in the Champions League. Four more matches to play but we start really strongly and we are almost there.”
“I didn’t see that [PlayStation football] as much, just a little bit of relaxation, a reaction by the home team with the normal pride to try to score, to try to have a different result and we just relaxed a little bit. We had a couple of good chances but I think it’s normal. We have a game on Saturday. Liverpool are luckier than us, they play Tuesday and Sunday, we have to play on Wednesday and on Saturday at 3pm. So I think it’s normal, a little bit of relaxation.”
Roy Hodgson:
Hodgson is yet to conduct his pre-match interview but told Sky Sports upon news of his appointment that he was looking for passion from his players:
"What I always look for in every game is character, I am looking for desire and people who share your passion and enthusiasm," he said.
"You are also looking for people who at least give the impression they are trying to do what the team wants them to do.
"At the moment, I think we have a lot of work to do for me to feel fully confident that every player fully understands with his role what I am looking for and what I would like him to do.
"I want to see a team that shows the fans that they really care."
What does the table look like?
What are the odds?
Man Utd to win 1/6
Crystal Palace to win 14/1
Draw 6/1
What's our prediction?
Crystal Palace have been woeful so far, are missing key players and there's no way Man Utd will take their foot off the gas at Old Trafford. After some tough defending by Hodgson's team, they'll concede a silly header from a set piece late in the first half and go on to lose by a few more.
Man Utd 3 - 0 Crystal Palace