Arsenal v Everton
5 points: Arsène Wenger's side win to-nil, but it is not enough to pip Liverpool to Champions League qualification.
15 points: Alexis Sánchez kisses the cannon in celebration, which can only mean he will be on his way this summer.
25 points: Arsenal FanTV and Ross Kemp announce plans to work on a new television series, chronicling the hardest hooligans Arsenal encounter on their tour of the Balkans in the Europa League group stages.
Burnley v West Ham
5 points: Jose Fonte makes another defensive error as Burnley sign off with a home win.
15 points: The walk across the pitch from tunnel to the dug-outs at Turf Moor aggravates Slaven Bilic's troublesome hip.
25 points: Jonathan Calleri is so static that a bird stops to rest on his shoulder midway through the second half.
Chelsea v Sunderland
5 points: The hosts secure a Premier League record 30th win of the season without alarm.
15 points: Jordan Pickford makes another dozen saves, cue a flurry of stories linking him with a summer move to one of the 'Big Six'.
25 points: Chelsea win a penalty five minutes from time and they hand the ball to John Terry for his fairytale ending. He slips and misses.
Hull v Tottenham Hotspur
5 points: Harry Kane scores twice to seal the Golden Boot.
15 points: Ryan Mason is presented on the pitch pre-match to rapturous applause from both sets of fans.
25 points: Daniel Levy tries to negotiate a deal with Hull owner Assem Allam to take Moussa Sissoko off his hands. A bag of balls and a set of bibs does the trick.
Leicester City v Bournemouth
5 points: The curtain falls on Leicester's campaign as reigning champions with a score draw at the King Power stadium.
15 points: Josh King scores another goal to put himself front and centre in the shop window ahead of the summer.
25 points: Jamie Vardy makes hay while the sun shines: winning two penalties before retrospective punishments for diving kick in.
Liverpool v Middlesbrough
5 points: Nerves jangle after a goalless first half, but Liverpool score two second-half goals to secure Champions League qualification.
15 points: Twitter's 'Celebration Police' are out on patrol after the game after the Liverpool players celebrate their win with a dressing room photo.
25 points: Middlesbrough's rearguard consists of a one-man effort from on-loan Arsenal defender Calum Chambers, but it is to no avail.
Manchester United v Crystal Palace
5 points: Manchester United play out their 16th league draw of the season as they continue their crawl to the Europa League final.
15 points: Wayne Rooney makes his final Old Trafford appearance but Ray Wilkins still thinks he'll better Alan Shearer's tally of 260 Premier League goals ('no danger').
25 points: Jealous of all the attention Antonio Conte and Tony Pulis received, Sam Allardyce and Jose Mourinho Instagram their claret-oriented festivities.
Southampton v Stoke
5 points: Southampton finish a very odd season with a 1-0 win.
15 points: Claude Puel and Mark Hughes are the final weekend's most disconsolate touchline duo.
25 points: The patterns in the St Mary's pitch are now so psychedelic they come with a health warning.
Swansea City v West Brom
5 points: This dead rubber peters out into a 0-0 and is last on Match of the Day.
15 points: Tony Pulis gleefully hops aboard the 'why is Marco Silva being linked with jobs and not Paul Clement?' bandwagon.
25 points: Analytics experts are amazed to find Fernando Llorente played 90 minutes of football without sprinting once.
Watford v Manchester City
5 points: Pep Guardiola's team win handsomely with Gabriel Jesus among the goals.
15 points: Walter Mazzarri speaks fluent English in his final post-match presser, just to goad those who questioned his commitment to the job.
25 points: One of City's goals deflects in off an inflatable banana thrown on to the pitch from the away end.