Bat Country: Manchester United want Harry Kane instead of Cristiano Ronaldo

Cristiano Ronaldo and Harry Kane have quite a few things in common. They’re both world class players, they’re both incredibly handsome, and they’re both supposedly the target of transfer interest from Manchester United.

But despite the fact that Ronaldo has won 3 ballon d’Ors, is the most recognizable athlete on the planet, and used to play for Manchester United, the Metro is reporting that Jose Mourinho would rather sign Kane.

Jose Mourinho has told Manchester United’s board to sign Harry Kane ahead of Cristiano Ronaldo, according to reports.

The Sunday Mirror claims that the United manager has made his preference clear to Ed Woodward and has ordered the club to make a bid to Tottenham which they would struggle to reject.

This is the Metro relaying a report by the Mirror, so this needs to be taken with a massive grain of salt.

Oh wait...there’s more?

Mourinho’s request to land Kane is in addition to his desire to bring Alvaro Morata to Old Trafford, and the United manager believes those two in attack would be a better option than to re-sign Ronaldo.

And this is what Bat Country looks like. Manchester United are going to sign Harry Kane AND Alvaro Morata? Marcus Rashford is going to be crushed when he hears the news.

Ed Woodward and the United transfer board would laugh Mourinho out of the room if he demanded that they sign Morata and Kane. Jose has beaten many great opponents, but he’s never battled Daniel Levy.

Even if this story didn’t just jump the shark, and it was only about Kane going to United over Ronaldo, then it still wouldn’t be realistic.

Ronaldo faces charges of tax fraud in Spain and his relationship with the board of Real Madrid may, or may not, have been strained. He could actually be available if Madrid decided that they’d rather go forward with attackers like Kylian Mbappe, Gareth Bale, and Marco Asensio. It’s unlikely, but there is a realistic number they would sell him for.

I’m not sure Daniel Levy even has a number that he’d sell Kane for. Kane doesn’t want to go, and is the face of a franchise that is attempting to undergo an ambitious transition into a Champions League quality club with a world class new stadium. If United offered 150 million for Kane, I still don’t think it would be enough.

Jose Mourinho may very well want Harry Kane, but at the moment Harry is pretty far out of his league.